Much like grief, everyone deals with being hungover differently. Some (insane) people are able to clean their entire house, go for a run and cook themselves a nutritious meal no matter how much they drank the night before. This routine is aimed at helping people who struggle to even stand on a hangover get to a point of resting rather than rotting after a big night.
Step One
You’ve woken up after taking it too far the night before. You’ll be pleased to know that you’re allowed to stay in bed till 1:30pm – but no longer. From experience, this is the appropriate cut off time before you start to feel worse. You can spend your time in bed scrolling to the point that you are dissociated from reality or, laying in silence and thinking about everything bad that’s ever happened to you. Regardless, when you’re up and out, make that bed and brush your teeth ASAP (these are non-negotiables, don’t even think about this part just do it).
Step Two
Once you’re out of bed and you’ve done the basics (including checking you have your keys, ID, will to live etc) you are getting water into your system stat. Depending on what you’re like on a hangover and how much you drank the night before, I warn that this might make you feel worse before it makes you feel better. Regardless, you need to get a big glass of ice-cold water and take slow sips throughout the morning (/afternoon). You also need to get a bit of food into your system. Something simple that will quell any nausea, like a piece of toast and a bit of fruit, is my go-to.
Step Three
Assess your space. Is it disgusting? What is the bare minimum you can do to bring it back to a clean state? This part is definitely the most painful, but you just need to brace yourself and get it out of the way; sitting in a dirty, messy space is going to make your hangxiety so much worse. When you’re done open up those windows and let in some fresh air.
Step Four
Props to you if you managed to remove your makeup last night, but with all the love in the world, you probably didn’t do a great job. Massage an oil-based cleanser (my favourite is the Anua Heartleaf Pore Control Cleansing Oil, as it’s light and soothing) into the skin. Take your time and ensure to emulsify the product with a bit of water after a couple of minutes to really break down any leftover makeup, ensuring you get any tough eye makeup here too. Run a thick flannel under warm water and lay it flat over your face, taking a moment to enjoy how relaxing this feels. Then use the flannel to wipe away all of that cleanser.
Now for the last step before you can start to chill out: it’s time to brave the shower. Start your shower routine by cleansing your face again with a water-based cleanser, like the Cerave Foaming Cleanser. Whether or not you wash your hair is your prerogative, but a double body cleanse is non-negotiable. Lather bar soap onto an African Net Sponge and scrub your body from top to bottom, getting the back of your neck, behind your ears, your back and your feet. Follow up with a nice bodywash. If you’re like me and can’t cope with too many smells when you’re hungover, go for products that smell clean but mild, like a classic Dove Beauty Bar and the Method Nourish Bodywash.
Once you’ve lathered, rinsed, and wrapped up in a towel, make sure to finish your skin care with a gentle moisturiser (again Cerave is my preference here). Giving yourself a little extra love makes the world of difference, so I’m going to strongly advise moisturising your body. Even just getting those especially dry areas like the elbows, knees and heels will help to bring you back to life a little. My favourite body moisturiser is the Garnier Coca and Ceramide Body Superfood, as it’s thick and deeply nourishing but doesn’t feel at all greasy.
Whether it’s pyjamas or loungewear, get yourself into some fresh clothes, making sure that whatever you put on your body is comfortable and clean.
Step Five
Now for the best part. Get yourself a tea or a coffee, open up Deliveroo or Uber Eats and order yourself a treat (I personally love a Joe & the Juice turkey sandwich with serrano ham, but that’s just me).
It’s finally time to rest up and relax. Get on the sofa or in bed and pop on a movie (this is going to be way more uplifting than a series or scrolling on your phone). Have a fun drink, your takeout, some snacks, and a hot water bottle all well within reach as you enjoy doing nothing for the rest of the day. If you’re not in the mood for a movie, I also love reading something fun when I’m hungover (my preference these days is a good fantasy) as it feels more like I’m accomplishing something. It’s also nice to just allow yourself the time to read if, like me, you feel like you never have enough of it.
Hangxiety and heart palpitations tend to set in in the evening, so, to combat this, I like to firstly make sure I’ve gone through my phone and replied to any messsages. You can also sift through last night’s photos and send them to everyone as needed. Once all your ducks are in a row, arguably the most important part of your evening, you need to facetime your best friend(s) and debrief the night before. This will heal absolutely everything.
Finally, make sure to get an early night, tomorrow will be a much easier day.
Fin!
